What do you do when you are disheartened and desperate?
At a time when you are in an obsolete state, all your efforts coming to a halt, a sense of being lost in the hither and thither of time, what you do? A state when all seem to be away and dreams high in the sky, as if never reachable. Do you end up relying on an object, person or experience so much that you start becoming dependent? Do you become comfortable in the shadows, in the darkness of your personal space and stare at yourself in the mirror? Is that when you question yourself, your beliefs, actions and relationships?
Often this happens when you experience loss, failure, trauma or come to a dead end in life and in turn may cause existential dilemmas like ‘who am I’, ‘what do I live for’ and ‘what could be the purpose of my life’. How many of you come out of this phase untethered and sober? What helps you to survive in these times – your relationships, habits, hobbies, lifestyle, or your exploration for meaning?
Let’s say: one day you come across watching ‘The Pursuit of Happiness’ (or any other similar movie) and you see how the hero (Will smith) finds success and happiness after many a tiresome, lonely, frustrating days; you start wondering what can you do to change your situation? If you notice, you just got inspired to think by knowing another person’s (real or virtual) life experience. But if you isolate yourself and close your heart to everything around how might that happen? – It may help you to go out and explore your possibilities especially when you feel discouraged!
True, inspiration could be found in the depths of self-awareness, but would you really be able to rediscover yourself sitting in the comforts of your room or limiting yourself to the few people you know? How do you re-find yourself?
Generally we get energized by our own inner world or when coming in contact with someone else’s. The possibilities are much more diverse when we interact with others, as being encouraged to think in different ways. Interacting with others can keep you occupied and even boost your own way of thinking and experiencing the world. This can also be objects/environment (real or virtual) like television, books, movies, internet etc., but real and direct encounters with other human beings can make a difference in your life, good or bad as with anything. So it is time to start interacting and exploring. Along with its ups and downs, life could become more enjoyable and less predictable.
There are so many things in this world that could motivate you to do something meaningful and help yourself through the path of self-realization. Often the sad part is that we do not come across it very regularly or we don’t see it because we have learned to ignore (or not see) things around. When was the last time when you woke feeling fresh, looking forward to a wonderful morning filled with sunshine and humming birds? How long has it been since you smiled at a stranger and got a smile back? Was it so long back in time, when you looked at a person and saw how beautiful they look even with the misfit attire or demeanour. If these are things long past your best times, you can questions yourself again. Where I am and who am I now, and what on earth am I doing with my life!
The answers can be difficult to reach at or to even accept. It is possible you may feel quite indifferent about the whole picture just to realize that you don’t feel much about these things anymore. Well, you can think how you ended up being like that, if you were quite a different person earlier.
In olden days, kids used to explore nature, they used to go on bicycles roaming around the country roads, they used to have group plays undisturbed by the adults and even engaged in daring activities; and they discovered more about themselves as each day passed. They explored and learned about themselves through direct, real experiences and encounters with the objects and people around. When they got old they could become like children again, having time to do new things, spend time doing simple things, letting themselves to be unwary about the world they live in. Some of them turned to ‘Sanyasa’, others became ‘Village heads’, and some others spent time rearing their grandchildren. They never stopped learning and experiencing life. How are our children living and learning? How do we continue our learning and experiencing as we get older?
In the modern times life easily becomes redundant and relationships dry. Men and women become less empathetic about other and their emotional nature unreliable. Why do that happen? One reason could be that it is part of evolution and we are becoming something else from apes to human to a different species. May be the requirements of tomorrow are different. Only the most adaptive need to survive. Again, that is leaving things to nature and fate. There is a chance that you can change things at least for yourself at present, if you are willing to take that step! You should know that even behind a miracle there is a process, nothing materializes out of thin air in our world… Even if does, the air has to be ‘thin’ right?!
After all what you want do? Preferably, think what do you desire out of your days in this world? Setting goals are easy but walking towards them can be tricky. What happens when you fail once or twice or even ten times; give up or try another method? When something goes wrong, it may not be you who is at fault always, it could be just the path you chose or the method you tried. So experiment and find out the best way to achieve something with maximum efficacy.
Let’s say you have reached your goal! What happens then? Do you have a higher goal to aspire for? If so, good! But, how long do you continue climbing on the same ladder? And where do you see yourself at the end? If you keep on climbing/walking and you do not know what you wish to achieve at the end of it, do you expect yourself to be happy when you reach there? It is adventurous to walk on a path when you don’t know what is awaiting at the end, but when you are in a desert and there is no fixed path how do you choose one, or even create one? Men learned to navigate through deserts and oceans using compass and the location of stars. They used these guidelines to help themselves orient and locate themselves in an environment ruled by numerous possibilities. These unknown possibilities can be very exciting but do you have something, someone or an idea as an anchor, guiding star, or a compass? If not, it is time you have any of these…
These questions can help you to locate yourself in a world filled with possibilities or in an environment where you feel stuck. My answers for these questions can be different from yours, but often in life we answer to the same questions. That is why we are similar but unique on our own. Just as I can learn from you, so can you from others.
So far we have gone through identifying what we want, where we want to end up, how to help ourselves through these times. Now one more question – who are you..? Are you able to describe yourself, your identity or role in this world? If so, I am happy for you if not you still have time…
Welcome to our world, dear fellow human…